What are your emotions trying to tell you?

Nobody wants to feel... gloomy, anxious, overwhelmed, frustrated, irritated, insecure, scared or any of those other emotions that we may label as "negative" emotions. Yet, all of our emotions, including those that we may see as more "negative", carry important information for us. Our emotions often communicate to us that we have an unmet need, that something in our lives needs changing or that there is some injustice that needs addressing. Our more "negative" emotions are often what can propel us into action to make improvements in our lives.

Many of us get scared when we experience a "negative" emotion. We may try and do everything we can to push it away, suppress it or ignore it. This is when you may notice that you are comfort eating, turning to that bottle of wine or buying things that you don't really need ... in an attempt to feel a bit better. BUT - the comfort-eating, drinking and shopping only give us temporary relief from our negative emotion. Because that negative emotion is often carrying an important message for us, it will just push through and keep knocking louder and louder on our door, until we finally pay attention to it.

Whether it is...

- a sense of unease because you are really in a relationship that isn't the best for you but just haven't been able to admit it to yourself

-a sense of apathy because you are in a job that doesn't really fulfil you but you don't yet feel brave enough yet to leave its security and comfort

-a sense of enragement because some unfair things have happened to you that you have never allowed yourself to process

-a sense of irritation or insecurity because you really want some intimacy in your life but don't know how to get it...

Emotions are important, especially those more "negative" ones, because they are trying to tell us something. We are however, not really taught to sit with, acknowledge and even appreciate our emotions. Instead, we are encouraged to "just be brave", ignore how we are feeling and "toughen up". None of this helps us to understand WHY we are feeling how we are and to learn from and then move through these emotions. This is where you may end up finding yourself turning to alcohol, food or some other unhelpful coping mechanism over and over again... because you just haven't yet answered your emotions' call.

A helpful tool to start working with your emotions is to use the emotions wheel below and to:

1. Name how you are feeling - this may be best described using several different (and often conflicting) words on the emotions wheel.

2. Ask yourself with a gentle curiosity, why you may be feeling these emotions - what may these emotions be trying to communicate to you.

3. Ask yourself - what changes in your life do you think would help you to feel less of some of those "negative" emotions.

4. Ask yourself - if a friend in your position and life circumstances was feeling how you are, what might you advise them.

5. Ask yourself - if the future you from when you are 90 was to come and talk to you now, feeling how you are - what might they say to you?

All emotions are helpful. Leaning into, noticing and learning from our emotions can often help us to best move through them. What are your emotions trying to tell you? Do your emotions carry some messages for you that you've been trying to ignore?