The Danger of Comparisons

There is only one YOU - and that, in itself, makes you VERY special.

How often have you looked at someone and thought “she is so much thinner than I am” or “she has much better hair than I do” or “she is so much more successful than I am” or “she has much nicer skin than me”....

How often do you compare yourself to others? - Perhaps you make those comparisons when looking at social media or maybe you are comparing yourself to others when you meet them face-to-face... and in this air-brushed, filtered world, it can be all too easy to feel inadequate when comparing yourself to those around you.

Many of my clients have a lot of negative thoughts about themselves as a result of comparing themselves to others. They feel inadequate and “not good enough” when looking at what others are up to, how they look in that picture on Facebook and noticing that flashy new car/house that their friends/colleagues have just bought.

I just wanted to take this opportunity to remind you all however that when you meet someone or look at their social media account - you never really see the whole picture. You only ever get the highlights reel. Someone can smile and talk about their new big house but not tell you how anxious they have been feeling for the past week. Someone can post a picture of their perfect six-pack and you would have no idea how down they feel from restricting their food intake and training so hard every week. Someone can be very loud and seem outwardly confident but deep down feel very insecure. It is dangerous for your mental health to make comparisons with others. You never really know what is going on for someone else.

So the next time that you notice you are comparing your hair/skin/house/job/stomach/smile to someone else’s, remind yourself that only YOU have all of your unique qualities and physical attributes - and that in itself makes you worth celebrating. Wouldn’t it be boring if every flower on this planet looked exactly the same - was the same colour, shape and size. Nature is beautiful because there is so much variety, diversity, colour.... in the same way we are all beautiful in our own way because we are all so different, so unique. I guarantee you that if you ask those who love and appreciate you what they value about you - they will come up with a long list of wonderful qualities - that are unique to you. What makes you wonderful is that you have ALL of these amazing qualities - not just the size of your waist/length of your hair/size of your house. What makes you special is that unique combination of lots of different things - and this unique combination, nobody else has. So don’t ever deny your UNIQUENESS and beauty by comparing yourself to someone else.

And anyway - just because someone else is attractive/successful/wealthy/happy etc. - this does not mean that you too cannot also be all of those things. There is more than enough to go around. We can all be attractive/successful/happy etc. in our own UNIQUE way. When we start celebrating other people’s beauty/financial success/happiness etc., whilst also recognising that we are all unique, it can bring us so much more peace too. So don’t deny your originality in an effort to be more like someone else - you are too unique and precious to do that to yourself - I hope you can instead celebrate being you!

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”– Ralph Waldo Emerson